A DAY IN THE LIFE OF JOE REPUBLICAN
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Just a tad of liberal/conservative humour.
Joe gets up at 6 a.m. and fills his coffeepot with water to prepare his
morning coffee. The water is clean and good because some tree-hugging
liberal fought for minimum water-quality standards.
With his first swallow of water, he takes his daily medication. His
medications are safe to take because some stupid commie liberal fought to
ensure their safety and that they work as advertised.
All but $10 of his medications are paid for by his employer’s medical plan
because some liberal union workers fought their employers for paid medical
insurance – now Joe gets it too.
He prepares his morning breakfast, bacon and eggs. Joe’s bacon is safe to
eat because some girly-man liberal fought for laws to regulate the meat
packing industry.
In the morning shower, Joe reaches for his shampoo. His bottle is properly
labeled with each ingredient and its amount in the total contents because
some crybaby liberal fought for his right to know what he was putting on
his body and how much it contained.
Joe dresses, walks outside and takes a deep breath. The air he breathes is
clean because some environmentalist wacko liberal fought for the laws to
stop industries from polluting our air.
He walks on the government-provided sidewalk to subway station for his
government-subsidized ride to work. It saves him considerable money in
parking and transportation fees because some fancy-pants liberal fought
for affordable public transportation, which gives everyone the opportunity
to be a contributor.
Joe begins his work day. He has a good job with excellent pay, medical
benefits, retirement, paid holidays and vacation because some lazy liberal
union members fought and died for these working standards. Joe’s employer
adheres to these standards because Joe’s employer doesn’t want his
employees to call the union.
If Joe is hurt on the job or becomes unemployed, he’ll get a worker
compensation or unemployment check because some stupid liberal didn’t
think he should lose his home because of his temporary misfortune.
It is noontime and Joe needs to make a bank deposit so he can pay some
bills. Joe’s deposit is federally insured by the FSLIC because some
godless liberal wanted to protect Joe’s money from unscrupulous bankers
who ruined the banking system before the Great Depression.
Joe has to pay his Fannie Mae-underwritten mortgage and his below-market
federal student loan because some elitist liberal decided that Joe and the
government would be better off if he was educated and earned more money
over his lifetime. Joe also forgets that his in addition to his federally
subsidized student loans, he attended a state
funded university.
Joe is home from work. He plans to visit his father this evening at his
farm home in the country. He gets in his car for the drive. His car is
among the safest in the world because some America-hating liberal fought
for car safety standards to go along with the taxpayer funded roads.
He arrives at his boyhood home. His was the third generation to live in
the house financed by Farmers’ Home Administration because bankers didn’t
want to make rural loans.
The house didn’t have electricity until some big-government liberal stuck
his nose where it didn’t belong and demanded rural electrification.
He is happy to see his father, who is now retired. His father lives on
Social Security and a union pension because some wine-drinking,
cheese-eating liberal made sure he could take care of himself so Joe
wouldn’t have to.
Joe gets back in his car for the ride home, and turns on a radio talk
show. The radio host keeps saying that liberals are bad and conservatives
are good. He doesn’t mention that the beloved Republicans have fought
against every protection and benefit Joe enjoys throughout his day. Joe
agrees: “We don’t need those big-government liberals ruining our lives!
After all, I’m a self-made man who believes everyone should take care of
themselves, just like I have.”
Editor note:
Normally we do not publish this type of work, but it does help illustrate a good point – sometimes we take some things in life for granted. This was sent to us by email, so we do not know the exact origin. If you know, please contact us and let us know.
Kyle
@ October 25, 2004