Stephen Harper – Voted Canada’s #1 Dysfunctional Dad
Uncategorized Comments (0)
As Canadians we all live in a strong federation of provinces. We are all a part of a proud and historic alliance. We are a union of diverse jurisdictions which equal far more than the sum of our individual parts. A family, if you will, of brothers and sisters, all equally loved and nurtured by a parental and protecting Ottawa.
Excuse me while I puke!
That may have been the dream a long time ago but these days it certainly isn’t the reality at 666 Canuck Lane.
Today we all ramble aimlessly around a house divided. It’s like we’re the kids of divorced parents and we got stuck living with the unfit one.
We’re all living with a parent who figures its just fine that the two biggest kids in the family have everything they want, even if it means snatching it out of the hands of their smaller siblings. Going to Dad to complain gets them nowhere. Hell it might even mean a good hard slap across the face. In the end the little ones have no other recourse but to scream in vain hoping someone, anyone, will listen. The never do.
The entire Country as it exists today is nothing more than the ultimate dysfunctional family and, other than those who always end up holding the short end of the stick, nobody gives a rat’s ass!
These days it’s common for Dad to break open little Junior’s piggy bank, give the cash to his big brother for beer and hookers and not even tell the poor little guy until the money’s all spent and big brother is staggering around the house beating up the furniture and slapping the other kids around. Sound familiar anyone?
It’s also acceptable for half the brothers and sisters in the family to be as pissed as hell at what Dad’s doing. It’s OK as long as it’s the right half that is.
Hell, our latest father figure has been in charge for well over a year now and not once has he called all the kids into a room for a serious chat. Ever hear of a First Minister’s Conference Dad? With everyone at each other’s throats these days I think we could use one right about now don’t you?
No, probably not. I guess Dad figures if he just ignores the problem long enough it’ll go away. Good strategy Dad. You may even be right because if things don’t get any better around this bloody house sometime soon a lot of the kids might just decide to pack their bags and get the hell out.
By Myles Higgins
@ April 18, 2007